The doors of perception

New York City’s doormen threaten to strike? Man, that would SUCK to have to open your own door.

Pain in the ash

This whole volcano thing is just an elaborate hoax by the Icelandic people so they can watch the whole world try to say "Eyjafjallajökull."

Say it ain't so

I get really uncomfortable when I hear 'love' and 'Karaoke' in the same sentence.

The song remains the same

I know now that if you put your iPod on shuffle you will invariably hear 50 songs in a row you don't like.

Food for Thought

As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.

Beef Wellington

Men should not wear Wellington boots unless 1) they live in England, or 2) they have a Mud Room.